The truth is, there will always be something else to do. This was never more real for me than at the start of the pandemic, when I found myself playing the role of remote elementary school supervisor and single mom to two little guys, and fledgling small business owner (not to mention pet mom, homeowner, ADHDer, friend…), all in isolation. It didn’t take long before I was completely overwhelmed by all the things that needed to be done. My lists were spanning pages, taunting me with their impossible endlessness, until eventually, I gave them up and just did what I could.
Once the feeling of utter chaos subsided, I started journaling about all the mundane tasks I’d managed to accomplish on any given day. And thus, the habit of the Ta-Da List began. Does everything get done? Eventually (usually). And, instead of feeling bad about what I didn’t get to each day, I felt great about what I did.
When it’s just a million little things
Shopping, laundry, yard work, home repairs, work emails, cleaning, school forms, making appointments. Did you just shudder at the thought of it all? Let’s be real, you already know the million things you have to do. If writing it down helps, you’re lucky. But if your to-do list is getting you down, it might be time to try a Ta-Da List instead.
Imagine ditching that bossy written set of tasks and replacing it with a celebration of what you managed to accomplish on your own. The Ta-Da List life starts with following your instincts and trusting that you know yourself well enough to get done what you can on any given day. The trick is not to turn the Ta-Da List into another thing you have to do. You create one when it feels like it’s time to give yourself credit or hype yourself up — it’s a feel-good list. Plus if you only do it every now and then, it gets even longer and feels even more impressive.
Getting into the Ta-Da List mindset
Living without an ongoing to-do list might feel like flying on a trapeze without a net at first. In our society, we’re trained to live from activity to activity, and downtime is a codeword for laziness, lack of willpower, and luxury. We’re so busy thinking about what’s next, we don’t take the time to acknowledge where we are today. Not to mention all the things we think we have to do because we have a vague sense of someone out there keeping tabs on us, which isn’t usually true. And if it is, it’s more of a Them Problem than a You Problem anyway.
Here’s how to start getting into the Ta-Da List mindset:
Trust your mental list. Remember those million little things? Of course you do! You know what really must get done and when. Usually, it doesn’t matter if it’s the last minute if it’s still getting done. On any given day you can rifle through those mental files and find plenty to do.
Use your calendar. Keep things top of mind with reminders. Block off time for a single thing that really needs to get done. Track deadlines. Your calendar is there to help.
Simplify. If a particular task is really nagging at you, investigate it. Why does it feel so important, and why are you avoiding it? Odds are, you’ll occasionally realize it doesn’t actually need to be done at all. Or that only getting it kind of done is good enough.
Identify and create systems and routines. Do the dishes from earlier in the day when you’re waiting for the oven to heat up for dinner. Clean the day before trash pickup. Watch a show while you fold the laundry. Respond to non-urgent emails in the morning and ignore them for the rest of the day. Figure out what works for you.
Take your tasks day by day. One of the problems with a big ol’ to-do list is that they’re prioritized by what “needs” to be done, and not what you’ll actually be able to accomplish. Consider deadlines and complexity, and your energy level, schedule, and available support, each day.
Thinking counts. Doing isn’t the only part of our day-to-day tasks. Some stuff needs thinking about first. Constantly focusing on the doing and not the planning, research or contemplation discredits a whole lot of effort. The kind of effort that totally belongs on a Ta-Da List.
Focus on impressing yourself. The only person who really knows how impressive it is that you’re able to do what you do is you. Getting one load of laundry done might not be something you post to social media to impress your friends, but if you know what a stretch that was for you that day, you deserve to pat yourself on the back for it.
It doesn’t have to be either/or. If skipping the to-do list gives you more anxiety than being overwhelmed by it, the tips above can help you modify how you approach the list to meet your needs. And you can still create Ta-Da Lists to celebrate your accomplishments.
When there’s so much to do you do nothing
Have you ever looked at your to-do list and realized you’d never get it all done, so you ended up doing nothing? Executive dysfunction, demand avoidance, burnout, something fun, or good old-fashioned overwhelm might be the cause, but whatever the reason, starting and ending the day with the same set of duties often doesn’t feel good.
There are times when the reason is more serious, like when you’re facing grief, depression, or chronic illness, and for those times, talking to a medical or mental health professional and your family, friends, or community and asking for help is the best path. You deserve support and seeking it is the strongest, bravest thing to do.